Peridot Vs Santa Bunny
by Jugenmujugenmugokonosurikireka
Summary: Peridot tries to get her Eastmas present before the time.


Our story beggins in the barn, with an angry little slice of pie looking for something, while Lapis Lazuli reads a book about a half alien, half rabbit named Hoppy, who is the youngest a team of magical guardians who protect the Earth from aliens and evil monster, the book can be found in Ebay for 1.000.000 Dollars.

"Aha, here it is" Says Peridot while picking up a hammer "Now where is the... HEY, LAPIS, CAN YOU PASS ME THOSE PAINT CANS?" Peridot screams

"Ok" Says Lapis

Lapis throws a paint can, hitting Peridot in her face

"THANK YOU" Screams Peridot

A few moments later:

Peridot then teleports into the room holding the same paint can

"Oh, man, 5.000 years, it is good to be back" Says Peridot

"Peridot?" Asks Lapis

"Yes?" Says Peridot

"What did you do?" Says Lazuli

"Oh, I made a time machine with the paint can and the hammer" Says Peridot with a smile "And then I accidentally teleported to Homeworld in the past and caused the Gem War, and then I had to stay during the whole thing because Pink Diamond broke my time machine, and then, when I found a way to fix it, I accidentally caused a giant explosion in the sky that cause mass corruption... And I also invented the word "Carrot.""

... ... ...

"But who cares? I have a time machine, and now, I'm going to the future to get my Eastmas present two months before, see you later Lapis." Peridot says teleporting away.

Two months later:

"Here we are" Says Peridot, as she appears near the mail box "It will be here any moment now" Says Peridot smiling

Three minutes later:

"Any moment now" Says Peridot smiling

Four months later:

"Any moment now" Says Peridot smiling

Five billion years later:

"Any moment now" Says Peridot smiling

... ... ...

"WHERE IS IT?" Peridot screams "DID SANTA BUNNY FORGET ABOUT ME? OH, BUT HE IS GOING TO REMEMBER!" Says Peridot teleporting away with her time machine

Five billion years, four months and three minutes before:

Santa Bunny's egg factory:

"Yes, I know..." Says Santa Bunny in the cellphone, that can be found in Ebay for 1.000.000 Dollars "No, it doesn't matter who won the election, I want this guy to be the new leader of The Illuminati, so, he'll be the new leader of The Illuminati, and if you complain about I'll cut off your internet." Says Santa Bunny gatting into his office.

"Hello, Mr. Santa Bunny" Says Peridot sitting on Santa's chair

Oh, and here we go again. Wait a second, I having a little problem here, try not to blow up the White house this time" Says Santa while turning off his phone "It was the president, he can't do anything without my help, but it's still better than that idiot who won the ellection, that's what I keep saying, you can't trusth the public, you need to chose the president using heads or tails..."

"Where are my presents, Mr. Santa Bunny?" Says Peridot, trying to intimidate him

"Well, Miss Peridot, let's talk about it" Says Santa Bunny, calmly "It appears that you just happens to be my least favorite Crystal Gem, so, I decided to remove you"

"I'm gonna ask it one more time" Says Peridot, getting angry "Where are my presents?"

"Well, Miss Peridot, looks like you're not paying attention" Says Santa Bunny "When I say "Remove you", I literally mean, remove you."

Santa pulls off a Shotgun and tries to kill Peridot, but she quicly reacts hidding behind a giant TV that just happens to be there, the TV can be found in Ebay for 1.000.000 Dollars

"I knew you wouldn't accept not having a Eastmas present" Says Santa Bunny "I knew you would come in here"

Peridot uses her time machine to teleport away

Some weeks before:

"Whoa! What is it?" Asks Steven

"I call it a Breaking Point." Says Bismuth

"Excuse me" Says Peridot teleporting in "I think I'll need this"

She takes the Breaking Point and teleports away

"Wat?" Bismuth and Steven say simultanialy

Some weeks later:

Peridot teleports back

"Say hello to my giant friend!" Says Peridot attcking Santa with the Breaking Point

Santa defends himself with his shotgun, that ends up bein destroyed

Peridot prepares the Breaking Point to attack again

"Wait a second" Says Santa Bunny, as Peridot stops "Listen to me, imagine what would happen if you kill Santa Bunny, imagine all the children in the world, without their Eastmas presents, forever, imagine, all the poor childs, who waits all year, so they could finally have at least one moment of joy in their terrible lifes, do you really wants to take this moment away from them, Crystal Gem?"

Peridot thinks for a second about her actions, and everything that she has done

... ... ...

"Yeah" Says Peridot as she attacks

Santa dodges it and runs to another room

Peridot chases him into other part of the factory

Santa takes some Eastmas eggs and starts trowing them at Peridot

"Haha, do you really think you can stop me with those..." Peridot notices that the eggs are actually bombs

"Oh" the bombs explode, but Peridot manages do dodge it, but she drops the Breaking Point

Peridot prepares her time machine to teleport again

"Oh no, not this time" Says Santa jumping into Peridot, and being teleported with her

Some months before:

Galaxy Warp

"Don't you Gems have anything better to do than annoy me!?" Says an angry Peridot

"Nope, we're gonna..." Amethyst tries to say something but Pearl cuts her

"Prepare to be annoyed!" Says Pearl

Peridot and Santa teleport above past Peridot and fall on her, causing her to faint

Santa steals one of her Limb enhancers and uses it to fly away "See you later, you clod."

"He" Says Peridot angry "Stole" Says Peridot Angrier "My" Says Peridot even angrier "WORD!"

Peridot takes another of her Limb Enhancers and teleports away

Some seconds before:

Peridot starts shoting at Santa Bunny right after he and past Peridot teleport in

Past Peridot takes other Limb Enhancer and also starts shoting

Santa Bunny runs away and jumps into the ocean

Both Peridots teleport some seconds into the past and start shoting, and past Peridot helps them, but Santa escapes again

Then the three Peridots teleport some seconds into the past, and it keep going until there are infinite Peridots

"THAT'S ENOUGHT" Scream Santa Bunny as he steals one of the time machines and teleports away

All the Peridots teleport after him, leaving behing a passed out Peridot and confused Crystal Gems

Each one of the infinite Peridots teleports to one point in time and space, she's literally everywhere and everywhen

Every moment, no matter what Santa Bunny do, Peridot is there, waiting for him, the omnipresent gem, looking for her Eastmas present

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screams Santa Bunny YOU'RE NOT GETTING ME, I'LL TRAVEL THE FURTHER ANYONE HAS EVER TRAVELED, I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, OR WHAT YOU DO, I'LL GO SO FAR AWAY, THAT YOU'RE NEVER REACHING ME!"

And so he did, using the paint can time machine, Santa Bunny did what no one has ever done before, he traveled to the past, all the way into the past, before time, before space, before Peridot, before anything and everything, when there was nothing to be seen or done, nothing, except for Santa Bunny

"HAHAHAHA" Laughs the Bunny "I DID IT, I ESCAPED, NOW I'LL MAKE A NEW PLAN, I'LL MAKE THAT PERIDOT LEARN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH ME, SANTA BUNN..."

"BOOM" is the sound made when the Big Bang occours, starting the universe, and ending Santa Bunny's journey

A really, really long time later:

Peridot gets into the barn

"Hi Lapis" Says her

"Hey Peridot" Says Lapis "Did you get your present?"

"No" Says Peridot "Looks like santa Bunny forgot about me"

"Oh, sorry then" Says Lapis "What you asked for Eastmas?"

"A new paint can, I used the last one to build my time machine"

"Oh" Says Lapis

Our story ends in the barn, with an angry little slice of pie sitting on a chair, while Lapis Lazuli reads a book about a half alien, half rabbit named Hoppy, who is the youngest a team of magical guardians who protect the Earth from aliens and evil monster, the book can be found in Ebay for 1.000.000 Dollars.


End file.
